Dan Pelosi is known as GrossyPelosi to his fans. He has built a character and a world out of the things he loves most: food, cozy moments, hosting, and storytelling. GrossyPelosi is not a mask he puts on. It’s a way of letting others in.

What started with recipes on social media has grown into something bigger! Dan shares pasta and party menus, but also the way he styles his art collection, the paint color on his walls (see photo below of his beautiful home!), and the sink in his bathroom. Fans are not here only for what he cooks. They are here for how he lives. What drew me to Dan’s energy online was his approach to opening up his life to others: his family, friends, and even strangers on the internet. I love his attitude towards food, holding boundaries, and “not yucking peoples’ yum.”

In today’s piece, I am spotlighting how Dan has built his business, created a home for his fans, and why it all feels so magnetic. When I first started working with him, I noticed his strong point of view and his confidence in what he wanted to share (as well as his ability to know what his audience will love). Among our clients at Wonderly, Dan consistently has one of the highest engagement rates. With just over 204,000 followers on Instagram, he shows that you do not need millions of people to build something sustainable both online and in real life. I chatted with both Dan and his boyfriend, Gus, about it all!

And as of today, Dan’s second cookbook, Let’s Party, is out and available to purchase! Now let’s break down why this party works and what you can take away from it.

Most creators dream of engagement. Dan’s inbox was (and, still to this day, is) overflowing. His DMs became a second job, filled with questions, advice, and connections that refused to stay one-sided. Fans didn’t just want to consume his work. They wanted to be part of it. Some even went so far as to start their own Instagram account. The account @GrossyGals was started by three friends who are fans! The account is a place where they try his recipes and share the results with each other (and the rest of the internet).

That moment, when fans start creating alongside you, is the leap from audience to community. In my fan orbit framework, it is the difference between a center that pulls people in and an orbit that begins spinning on its own. For Dan, this wasn’t a strategy as much as an instinct. He responded, he encouraged, and he treated each message like the beginning of a friendship. The Grossy orbit grew one DM at a time.

Hosting is at the heart of Dan’s work. It shows up in his Sunday dinners, his cookbook tours, and the way he renovated his home in upstate New York. It is more than entertaining. It’s second nature. Hosting is the act of saying, come in, this space is for you too.

Community researchers say the most influential creators are not performers or content machines. They are hosts. A host’s capital is their ability to gather people and build belonging. Dan embodies this shift. For him, hosting is not always a perfectly plated feast. Sometimes it is as simple as making a pot of coffee and inviting a neighbor to sit with him.

Out of Dan’s second nature to host came GrossyWorld, a membership community, that Dan launched this year. It offers Discord rooms that feel like oversized group texts, Sunday dinner menus with exclusive recipes, and live cooking classes where fans can cook alongside him in real time. It is part newsletter, part clubhouse, and part dinner table. Dan explained, “So often, the Grossy Girl is asking the same question, or sharing the same tip…so I thought…‘I wish there was a place where they could all just talk to each other!’ That was the beginning of the idea for GrossyWorld.”

Social media has been an incredible stage for building his audience, but it is also rented space. Algorithms shift, feeds get noisy, and creators are left with little control. GrossyWorld is different. It gives his community a home that belongs to them, not to a platform.

This is what community theorists call the move from Stage 1 (basic connection) to Stage 2 (facilitated interaction). Dan is no longer the only provider of value. He is building infrastructure where members create value for each other. Scroll through his Discord and you will see not only food but dog photos, advice, selfies, and daily life. A community that began in the DMs now has a place to live.

Dan’s boyfriend, Gus, who has a special place in GrossyWorld called Gus’ Corner, shared, “I think people are really burnt out with Instagram and TikTok. This is a place that feels like a remote island or friend hang out and I am really excited that everyone is eager to jump in and share themselves.”

Dan’s work does not stop at the screen. He is known for showing up in person, whether it’s hosting cookie parties (photo below), hosting dinner parties at his place, or meeting fans on his cookbook tour. These events matter because they transform digital intimacy into a physical experience.

“I think I forget that we really hit a new era of using Instagram and TikTok during the quarantine. We never really bounced back from that kind of use. And we used it during that time to feel community when it was too dangerous to do it any other way. Now, with less imminent danger, we still find ourselves glued to these apps,” Gus shared, “So I think when we are reminded and jolted back to real life events, we remember that these virtual spaces can just be a jumping off point for much deeper experiences…a means to an end.”

Dan agreed, “Hosting is the launching pad to connect. Spending all this time on the internet makes it even more essential to plan time where you are letting people into your space and seeing where it goes!”

Dan’s success illustrates what many researchers now call the new playbook for community:

For Dan, this comes naturally. He has always been a host first, with food, with his home, and with his calendar. Hosting is his fandom strategy. The lesson in GrossyWorld is clear: content alone will not build community. Systems, structures, and spaces do. The creator’s real gift is designing a place that outlasts their daily presence. And that is something the best hosts know how to do.